Today’s post is advice on how to raise a child. I know no parent likes to hear how they should or should not raise their own child, but i do hope you consider some of the advice i have put together. I also do not wish to offend any parents out there, but we all can get a little help once in a while – especially for all the awesome first time mothers out there!
Every child has a unique personality, by understanding your child’s psychology plays a crucial role in guiding and nurturing your child. So, lets jump in and start with the psychology of your child.
Understanding The Psychology Of Your Child
- Observe what he/she eats, plays, draws, sleeps, or communicates with others.
- Notice if your child is able to adjust to changes easily or takes time to settle down.
- Not all kids have similar traits as they tend to differ in personality.
- Remember that your child has a distinctive personality.
Be a Friend To Your Child
- Do not let your “parent-side” take over while having a friendly conversation with your child.
- Offer a wise judgment as a friend without blaming your child for any mistakes.
- Make sure you don’t spoil your kid.
- Offer sufficient space to make him understand your view.
Spend Time With Your Child
- Try to spend some adequate time with your child and involve yourself in his/her life.
- The closer you get to your child, the more comfortable they will be with you.
- Your child will trust you and open up about his feelings, fears, and apprehensions.
- Listen to your child and show concern towards him/her.
Teach Your Child To Be Responsible
- As a parent, make your kid realize their responsibilities early in life.
- Encourage your kid, as it would make him independent.
- Praise your child for being responsible.
- It would also enable your child to develop positive self-esteem.
Ask your Kid’s Opinion In Some Family Decision
- Ask your kid’s opinion and listen to what he/she says.
- You must understand the idea behind the opinion of your child rather than judging the mistakes in it.
- It makes your child more responsible and confident.
- This would help your child make good decisions while they grow up.
Keep Your Promises
- You should always keep your promises if you wish to win your child’s trust.
- This will instill honesty in your child if they learn to trust.
- This will show your child how much you care for them if you keep your promises.
Give Them Some Space
- Every child needs their space once in a while
- Don’t barge into your child’s life and be a hyperactive parent.
- Let them enjoy the things they love, but also be protective to ensure they don’t go overboard.
- Let them choose and decide, you can be there to guide them when help is needed.
Allow your Kid To Be A Kid
- Remember your kid is, after all, a kid. Let them enjoy these early stages of their life.
- Let them learn from their mistakes, so it’s good to fail sometimes.
- Don’t have too many high expectations.
- Tell your child in a gentle manner to be careful, instead of banning an activity altogether.
Understand Fears Or Apprehensions Of Your Kid
- Respect your child’s fears, don’t label them as timid or a troublemaker.
- If something is bothering your child, try to figure our the real issues at hand.
- Try to find out the cause of their fears and help your child to overcome the fear by digging deeper into the route of the problem.
- Be there to comfort your child, give advice, and strengthen your bond during this phase.
Indulge In A Creative Activity With Your Kid
- Creativity can influence your child’s psychology in a positive way.
- Dedicate time and involve your child in creative activities they enjoy like arts, crafts, or playing.
- Try to display the artwork your child created by hanging it up on the wall or framing it will encourage them further.
- This would build your child’s self-esteem and help them concentrate more on their creative activities.
- Make sure you are listening to them when they talk.
- Allow them to express their feelings and validate them.
- Compliment them as much as possible and point out their strengths.
- Try to avoid excess amount of screen-time, but no need to ban it totally.
- Make sure to teach them to pay attention to others feelings.
- Encourage their friendships with other kids.
- Allow for some “do-nothing playtime” everyday if you can.
- Try to eat as a family as often as possible.
- Let your happiness shine in front of them.
- Most importantly, tell them you love them – often!
What Color Code Is Your Child?
All kids come in wonderful different shapes, colors, attitudes and sizes, i would like to focus on the “Colors” part of a child.
How To Raise A Red Child
- Your Kid’s Strengths – leadership, responsible, confident, action-oriented, motivated, decisive.
- Your Kid’s Limitations – bossy, demanding, argumentative, always right, aggressive, manipulative, selfish.
- What To Do – speak logically, be direct and specific, promote their intelligence, let them make decisions.
- What Not To Do – don’t lecture, limit emotions, be authoritative, never embarrass them in front of others.
How To Raise A Blue Child
- Your Kid’s Strengths – compassionate, sincere, loyal, dependable, well behaved, easily disciplined.
- Your Kid’s Limitations – easily frustrated, sensitive, moody and emotional, critical, pouts.
- What To Do – be sensitive, help them feel secure, appreciate them, be sincere, promote creativity
- What Not To Do – don’t make them feel guilty, don’t expect spontaneity, don’t demand perfection, don’t expect them to forgive.
How To Raise A White Child
- Your Kid’s Strengths – peacekeeper, undemanding, accommodating, comfortable being alone, no drama.
- Your Kid’s Limitations – resents pressure, non-verbal, uncomfortable socially, indifferent, doesn’t complete tasks.
- What To Do – be kind in criticism, listen quietly, gently promote involvement, accept their individuality.
- What Not To Do – don’t be insensitive, don’t expect social interactions, don’t demand conformity.
How To Raise A Yellow Child
- Your Kid’s Strengths – enjoys life, accepting, social, loves hugs, inquisitive, pliable.
- Your Kid’s Limitations – sassy, defiant of authority, selfish, irresponsible, teaser.
- What To Do – be positive, adore and praise them, promote creativity, allow verbal expression.
- What Not To Do – don’t be too serious, don’t ignore them, don’t demand perfection, don’t consume their time.
Science Behind Raising Happy Kids
Kids with nurturing moms have bigger brains. A study found that preschoolers with nurturing, supportive moms have a 10% larger hippo campus (the part of the brain that handles stress and memory) by the time they get to school age.
Love from dad matters! One study found that feeling loved by dad was even more important for kids well being, happiness and life satisfaction than feeling love by mom.
The Most Effective Dads
- Dads who listen to their kids
- Have a close relationship with them
- Set appropriate rules and guidelines
- Give freedom when it makes sense
The Dangers Of Rejection
When kids feel rejected or unloved by their parents, they’re more likely to be hostile, aggressive, and emotionally unstable.
The Importance Of Optimism
Fill the Glass Half Full – Kids who learn to be optimistic when they’re 10-12 years old are half as likely to be depressed during puberty.
How Do You React to Problems? – Even 5-year-olds can understand the benefits of positive thinking to help them feel better. They get their sunny outlooks by watching how their parents react to problems.
Praise Kids For Effort, Not Brains
Children praised for their abilities or intelligence, rather than their efforts, have a harder time coping with failure. Kids praised for efforts are more likely to enjoy challenging tasks and show more motivation.
Don’t say “Your so smart”, Do say “You worked so hard on that project, I’m so proud of you”.
Kids Are More Resilient Than We Think
80% of kids who experience their parents separation or divorce DON’T go on to have psychological problems. Many kids whose parents maintain respectful communication and cooperation to the best of their ability:
- Go on to achieve career and education goals
- Maintain close family ties
- Enjoy healthy intimate relationships
How You Argue Matters
Take into consideration next time you argue with your spouse. Compared to kids with less-hostile parents, kids who grow up with parental conflict:
- Do worse in school
- Are more likely to drink and use drugs
- Have poorer emotional well being
Kids Want Meaningful Lives, Too
Even 8-year-olds are happier if they feel their lives have meaning.They are more likely to :
- Do something kind for a friend or classmate
- Volunteer their time
- Plan an event for friends or family
- Join a team or club they care about
Studies show that even toddlers are happier when giving treats to others than receiving treats. (And they’re happier giving treats that belong to them than identical treats that don’t.)
Importance of Playing
Kids these days have 8 fewer hours of free, unstructured playtime than they had 20 years ago. Play helps kids develop: Creativity, Motor Skills, Emotional Strength, Cognition, and Social Skills.
Encourage Kids To Get Physical
Playing sports on a team or just for fun makes kids happier and better behaved.
Feeling competent is the secret – Kids who think they’re good at a sport have higher levels of well being than kids who actually are good at it.
Get Off The Couch!
Watching TV is linked to unhappiness. A 7-year study of over 4,000 teens found that those who watched more TV were more likely to develop depressive symptoms, with the rate increasing 8% with every additional hour of TV watched.
- Smile – Make a point to smile at your child whenever you make eye contact. Let your smile greet your children at the start of the day and meet them throughout it.
- Speak Softly – Whenever the volume in your house rises, lower yours. Also, ask requests in a soft and low voice.
- Say Exactly What You Mean – Say exactly what you mean when speaking to your children or giving a request. Don’t beat around the bush. Be as specific as possible.
- Solicit Help – Ask for help when it is needed. Don’t play the martyr. Be specific with the time of help you need. Finally, number your requests to make it easier for kids to follow.
- Surrender Your Idea of Who Your Kids Should Be – Sit down and write out each of your children’s strengths and weaknesses. Then write down what you can do to help him/her develop their strengths, and what can you do to help them combat their weaknesses. If your child is old enough, discuss these things with them. Choose one area to work on a week and praise change!
Age Appropriate Chores For Kids
Every parent wants to raise their kids to be responsible and as independent as possible. One good way is to start giving them responsibilities at an early age, here is a list that will help you with that.
Toddler (ages 2-3)
Pick up/put away toys, Unload the dishwasher, dust with feather duster/microfiber rag, swiffer the floor, put clothes from washer to dryer, put clothes away, make bed, wipe cabinets, and wipe baseboards (soapy water).
Preschooler (ages 4-5)
All previous chores, load the dishwasher, vacuum couch/chairs/cushions, take out recycling, set table, wash dishes (with supervision), clean windows, wipe out bathroom sinks, match socks, fold dish towels, weed, water indoor plants and feed pets.
Early Elementary (ages 6-8)
All previous chores, meal prep (wash produce, find ingredients, simple cutting), wipe bathroom sinks/counters/toilets, hang out laundry, sweep, vacuum, collect garbage, get mail, fold/hang laundry, clean microwave, and rake leaves.
Elementary (ages 9-11)
All previous chores, make simple meals, take garbage/recycling to the curb, wash/dry clothes, clean toilets, and mop floors.
Middle School (ages 12-14)
All previous chores, clean tub/shower, make full meals, mow yard, and supervise younger children’s chores.
The Dreaded Talk About “SEX” To Your Kids
We’ll end this post with a “BANG”. What to share with your kids about sex and by what age. I will break this down as simple as possible, your job is to remember to talk to your kids at each stage of their lives.
- be brief, literal and simple
- teach that marriage is good
- use correct names for body parts
- avoid mythologies
- redirect immodest behavior
- teach that pregnancy is good
- teach about marriage as “one flesh”
- discuss male and female parts
- discuss physical act of sex
- discuss how babies grow in womb
- talk about sexual abuse (good touch/bad touch)
- (plus everything from ages 0-5, if not already talked about)
- talk about body changes in puberty
- discuss emotional changes in puberty
- talk about dating and relationship with opposite sex
- (plus everything from ages 6-10, if not already talked about)
I hope many of you enjoyed this post i created, please make sure to comment below if you have any other idea’s you’d like to spread.